Demon Blood
by MaxWaylandGrey
Summary: We all know what drew Clary to back off that day outsides the Wayland manor. But we never found out what was that Jace was thinking. Fair to know that maybe it was not all Jace's fault, don't you think? One-shot.


_I have been thinking of doing this for quite a long time. Okay, not that long. I barely finished reading the series about a month ago. Anyways, I was mad at Clary's sudden outburst and I knew that Jace was being accused of something that he had not been thinking and in overall, I think Clary is sometimes very stupid. But that is just my opinion! Besides, I didn't quite understand this part until I wrote it in Jace's perspective. This is all in third person, but showing Jace's feelings, not just Clary's. Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: Nope. Don't own Mortal Instruments at all. Although, I do wish I owned Jace's arrongance! I love it and it drives me crazy!_

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Demon Blood

_The roar of the collapse faded slowly, like smoke dissipating the air. It was replaced by the loud chirruping of startled birds._

Jace could only think of Clary's safety. He couldn't care less whatever could happen to himself. He could draw a healing rune if anything hurt him and also could Clary, but he could just not see her in pain. The silence of the night was broken by the melodious voice of the girl that lay underneath him.

"Jace," she said softly. "I think I dropped your stele somewhere."

He slowly lifted himself up from her, propping his elbows in the grass on the sides of her. Even with all the glass and rubble around her, she was beautiful, with her fiery locks and her ever incredible emerald eyes. "That's all right. As long as you're not hurt."

"I'm fine." She was staring directly into his golden eyes and suddenly, her fingers were on his hair. He tensed at her touch but did not push her hand away or any other sort of movement. He just stayed there rooted to the spot. "There was grass in your hair." She said, explaining. She looked beautiful in the moonlight and it was impossible not to stare at her.

"You shouldn't touch me," he said. He felt her hand stop against his cheek.

"Why not?" She asked, innocently.

"You know why," He propelled himself off of her and rolled on his back next to her, looking at the night sky. "You saw what I saw, didn't you? The past, the angel. Our parents." Those last two words felt alien in his mouth and he realized that it was the first time he had ever said them. He saw her shift on her side to look at him, but he just couldn't look at her.

"I saw." Was all she said.

"You know what I am." He said in a barely audible whisper. "I'm part demon, Clary. Part _demon_. You understood that much, didn't you?" He turned his head to look at her. "You saw what Valentine was trying to do. He used demon blood—used it on me before I was even born. I'm part monster. Part everything I've tried so hard to burn out, to destroy."

He was looking intently into her eyes, but she looked far away, thinking. Then she found her voice again. "But warlocks are part demon. Like Magnus. It doesn't make them evil—"

"Not part Greater Demon. You heard what the demon woman said." _It will burn out his humanity, as poison burns the life from the blood. _That's what it had said, and he still couldn't believe it. But he had to. That was, after all, what he was.

"It's not true. It can't be. It doesn't make sense-" Her voice was trembling.

"But it does." He had to admit that there was a kind of desperation in his voice. "It explains _everything."_

"You mean it explains why you're such an amazing Shadowhunter? Why you're loyal and fearless and honest and everything demons _aren't_?" He could hear how she tried to convince him otherwise, but there was still one thing.

"It explains," he said, his voice even, "why I feel the way I do about you."

"What do you mean?" She asked, but it was obvious she knew what he meant. He didn't respond in a long while. He was thinking of a way to respond to her, to make her see.

"You're my sister," He said. "My sister, my blood, my family. I should want to protect you" —he laughed at what he was about to say soundlessly but without a pinch of humor— "to protect you from the sort of boys who want to do with you exactly what _I _want to do."

He could hear her catching her breath. "You said you just wanted to be my brother from now on."

"I lied." He said, telling her the truth that killed him since the beginning. "Demons lie, Clary. You know, there are some kinds of wounds you can get when you're a Shadowhunter—internal injuries from demon poison. You don't even know what's wrong with you, but you're bleeding to death slowly inside. That's what it's like, just being your brother."

"But Aline—" She started to protest.

"I had to _try._ And I did." He could hear how his voice sounded robotic. "But God knows, I don't want anyone but you. I don't even _want_ to want anyone but you." He lifted his hand to trail his fingers through her hair, his fingers brushing her porcelain cheek. "Now at least I know why."

"I don't want anyone but you, either." She whispered. His breath caught, he couldn't believe what Clary had just declared. She wanted him too! He slowly propelled himself on his elbows looking down at her. He could only feel love towards her. That's all he felt at the moment. He trailed his fingers down her cheek to her lips, outlining her mouth with the tip of his finger.

"You should probably," he said, "tell me not to do this." He watched her to see if she would tell him to stop. But she set her jaw and said nothing. He bent down and lightly brushed his lips against her cheek. Just that touch made him feel currents of what felt like electricity through his whole body. "If you want me to stop, tell me now," he whispered. But when she remained silent, he brushed his lips against the hollow of her temple. "Or now." He traced the line of her cheekbone with his lips. "Or now." His lips were now against hers and he could feel the warm breathing coming from her nose. "Or—" But was caught off guard when she reached up and pulled him down to her.

He started carefully, gently, but soon she was pulling him down to her even harder against her. A groan escaped from low in his throat, and then he encircled his arms around her tiny frame, gathering her against him. They went rolling over the grass, lips never departing. Jace could feel the rocks digging into his back and shoulders but couldn't care less. He had the girl he loved in his arms, and she was accepting him. It didn't matter to her that he had demon blood. He had longed for this moment since the last day they kissed, in the Seelie Court.

He took his jacket off and instantly, his shirt was off too. He could feel her fingers trailing down his back, through his scars and muscles. He felt her fingers in his star-shaped scar in his shoulder. He started tugging at the buttons of her green coat, his hands shaking. He had never had his hands shake in this way before. "I'll do it." She said and went to the last button in her coat. He saw her raise herself to take her coat off, when she gasped.

"What is it?" He froze on the spot, looking cautiously at Clary. "Did I hurt you?"

"No. It was this." He felt her fingers on the silver chain that hung from his neck with the Morgenstern ring.

"I'm sorry," He said while tracing the line of her cheek with his fingertip. "I forgot I was wearing the damn thing." And that's when he saw her eyes darken.

"Jace," He could hear the intensity in her voice. "Jace, don't." He was confused.

"Don't what? Don't wear the ring?"

"No, don't—don't touch me. Stop for a second." He didn't understand but nonetheless withdrew his hand. "Jace," she continued. "Why? Why now?"

He didn't understand the question or how to respond it. "Why _what_ now?"

"You said there was nothing between us. That if we—if we let ourselves feel what we feel, we'd be hurting everyone we care about."

"I told you. I was lying." He thought he understood what she meant. "You think I don't want to—?"

"No," she said. "No, I'm not stupid, I know that you do. But when you said that now you finally understand why you feel this way about me, what did you mean?" he grabbed her hands and brought them to his face, lacing his fingers with hers.

"You remember what I said to you at the Penhallows' house?" he asked her. "That you never think about what you do before you do it, and that's why you wreck everything you touch?"

"No, I'd forgotten that. Thanks for the reminder." He noticed sarcasm in her voice but didn't acknowledge it.

"I wasn't talking about you, Clary. I was talking about me. That's what _I'm_ like." He turned his head slightly that made her fingers trail down from his cheek. "At least now I know why. I know what's wrong with me. And maybe—maybe that's why I need you so much. Because if Valentine made me a monster, then I suppose he made you some sort of angel. And Lucifer loved God, didn't he? So says Milton, anyway."

He saw her sucking in her breath. "I am _not _an angel. And you don't even know that that's what Valentine used Ithuriel's blood for—maybe Valentine just wanted it for himself—"

"He said the blood was for 'me and mine,'" He said quietly. "It explains why you can do what you can do, Clary. The Seelie Queen said we were both experiments. Not just me."

"I'm not an angel, Jace," she repeated again. "I don't return library books. I steal illegal music off the Internet. I lie to my mom. I am _completely ordinary_."

"Not to me." He looked down at her and took her extraordinary beauty once more. But he could just feel hate for himself. For what he was. "Clary, I—"

"Get off me," Clary said with authority.

"_What?" _The desire he was feeling left the moment she said that.

"You heard me," she said. "And leave my hands alone." She took her hands back with force and knot them in fists instantly. He felt anger building up inside him but didn't get off.

"I don't suppose you want to tell me _why_?" He asked, not expecting an answer from the red-haired stubborn girl.

"You think you only want me because you're evil, not human. You just want something else you can hate yourself for. I won't let you use me to prove to yourself how worthless you are." As she said this, he realized that he had done just that, only that he had not seen it. Until she did.

"I never said that. I never said I was using you." And it was true. He didn't want to use her. He loved her and had felt a deep connection since the first time they saw each other.

"Fine," she said. "Tell me now that you're not a monster. Tell me there's nothing wrong with you. And tell me you would want me even if you didn't have demon blood." He wanted to tell her what she wanted to hear, but he just couldn't bring himself to say it. He… he was a demon after all. Or at least part demon. There _was _something wrong with him. But he wasn't sure that he would want her even if he didn't have demon blood.

They locked gazes. He was furious because he couldn't make her happy. She looked like she was about to break down. Although she tried hard to block it, he could still see it.

He got off her, swearing, and rolled to his feet. He grabbed his shirt, still glaring at her, and turned to look for his jacket. He was trying to keep a controlled demeanor, but inside he was breaking down. He couldn't look back to see Clary. He just couldn't. But he couldn't deny that her words were true. He was secretly glad that she found out before he did. Although he would have wanted nothing to happen from the beginning.

He began kicking the pieces of debris with rage. He felt Clary's staring, but didn't turn to see her. "Well," he said, "we're screwed."

"What?"

"Remember? You lost my stele. There's no chance of you drawing a Portal now." He could hear the pleasure in his voice of her not being able to use her 'powers'. "We've got no way of getting back. We're going to have to walk."

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_So this is a one-shot. Hope you liked it. If no, then still review! I would like to know how bad my writting is. I'm young and I still haven't developed an incredible language. Although I'm working on it! *reading dictionary*:D jajaja just kidding!_

_Review?_


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